Scraping repos…
Reading their public GitHub…
Jared Palmer
@jaredpalmer · public profileROASTED
89/100
🔥 SUSTAINED ABANDONMENT
“92% starlight, 8% actual code: your commits need a CSPAN filter.”
ARank tierA-tier Serial Shipper
Mint vaultArtifact · @jaredpalmer
Roast style
UNITED STATES
GITROAST.ME
Minted from @jaredpalmer’s public GitHub
11Kfollowers87Kstars201reposTypeScripttop lang
Why 89/100
- Impact28.2/32
Stars on your live, original repos — discounted if it's all one viral hit.
- Legend14.8/20
Gated: only opens past 75k effective stars AND 10k followers.
- Community7.5/10
Developers who follow your work.
- Consistency9.6/14
How much of your live portfolio is actually active.
- Portfolio14.2/15
Substantive original repos and language range.
- Craft5.8/10
Descriptions, licenses, topics, live links — finished work.
The roast
With 201 public repos, but only 15% updated in the last 90 days, it’s a wonder how ‘Serial Shipper’ is a title and not a joke. Formik’s 34,305 stars are bright, but homebrew-tap and esch sit empty, ghosts of potential with zero stars between them. The most recent push on tsdx was in October 2026 — welcome to the future where your code is already obsolete.
You’ve got 135 open issues on razzle and only one archived repo — likely more evidence of active abandonment than genuine contribution. Those commit messages are comically short too; a stunning 27% are under 10 characters like your best effort was putting in timestamps: "v0.12.1", "v0.12.2", how original. At this point, your repo graveyard looks like a bustling retirement community for projects that never had a chance to really live — 9 abandoned before they could even breathe.
The flex
Your GitHub, as a badge.
[](https://gitroast.me/u/jaredpalmer)
